The fundamental difference between selling and negotiation is that selling is a process to identify the fit between what the seller is offering and what the buyer is seeking. Negotiation is the process of agreeing the terms of the deal and is part of the selling continuum. Yet, the negotiation should only begin when there is a genuine commitment from the buyer and seller towards a conditional sale. It’s a bit like dating, usually a person is unlikely to book a restaurant until a date has been agreed to! Equally the person being asked for a date wouldn’t particularly care about the restaurant choice unless they were sufficiently interested in attending the date. Once the date has been

agreed it’s simply a matter of agreeing/negotiating the type of restaurant, location and time. When an individual is or has committed to do something, their level of interest rises dramatically, which is why the negotiation phase can be a hotbed of emotional intensity and tension.

Excellent salespeople use the selling phase to lay the ground rules for a possible future negotiation by ensuring that they fully understand their prospect’s requirements, and decision making process while planting seeds and setting the tone for the negotiation phase. If for example you do all the giving through the selling phase, you have established the presupposition that you’ll continue to do all the giving in the negotiation phase. The transition from selling to negotiating can only occur when the desire to do business has been evoked in their prospect.

Start with the end in mind

The benefits of a well-negotiated deal can have a major impact on bottom line profit, and naturally when the buyer and seller enters into a negotiation they both want the best possible deal for their own organisation. It’s little wonder that negotiations are viewed as competitions where the outcome has to yield winners and losers. The ‘winning’ negotiator may experience short-term gains, yet long-term gains may prove harder than winning the lottery! That’s why the process of creating an agreement that each party will willingly fulfil is referred to as Win-Win, and provides increased probability of sustaining long-term customer relationships. Every negotiation has the potential to achieve one of the following outcomes:

● Win-Lose - where your customer wins a better deal at your expense and can lead to an unprofitable long-term relationship, because you have conceded too much to sustain future account servicing and growth

● Lose-Win - where you win a better deal at your customer’s expense which can cause bitterness and resentment, resulting in cancellations and a myriad of issues that stem from negative emotions

● Lose-Lose - which is symptomatic of big egos on both sides that are prepared to ‘fight to the bitter end’ just to do a deal. This outcome creates bitterness and relationships are unlikely to continue past the short term

● Walk-Away - which is actually a better outcome than all the above because it preserves the possibility of a future relationship that is profitable for both parties

● Win-Win - where both parties have made concessions yet both the buyer and the seller are willing to comply with the agreed terms, and share a perception that the outcome was fair to both

Recognising the importance of Win-Win outcomes is the first step towards planning to create an environment where both people are willing to share information, and invest time in the negotiation process. Some people see themselves as natural, spontaneous negotiators which may get the

adrenaline pumping yet a lack of planning can result in lost revenues, lost opportunities and lost time. Thorough preparation is more likely to create and instil a high level of self-confidence, as well as create an increased probability for a Win-Win outcome.

Here is a useful checklist of questions that will ensure good preparation practice:

● Who’s got the most leverage? (the better bargaining position)

● How strong is your proposition?

● How strong is the other party’s proposition?

● What will you and the other party be asking for?

● What are your options and alternatives?

● What is the cost/value of each negotiation point?

● What are the other party’s worries, frustrations and motivations?

● What are the fixed and variable points from all sides’ perspectives?

● What ideally do you want to achieve?

● What is your fallback position from which you are not prepared to move?

● What are your fixed points?

● What can you use as concessions if you decide to trade?

● What are the real issues for you?

● Who will be attending the negotiation?

● What are their roles?

● What are their positions?

● Is the decision-maker present?

● In your team, what roles will you be taking?

● Who will handle which issues?

● How would you describe the negotiation style of the other party?

● How will this effect your own approach in the negotiation?

● What did you learn from your last negotiation that you can apply to this one?

A skilled negotiator will create high levels of rapport and be sensitive and empathetic to the people they are negotiating with, yet can still be hard on the issues. The ability to separate the people from the issues and recognise that negotiations, are often fraught with emotional intensity can help sharpen the focus on the interests of the other party to better balance perceptions. If the negotiation doesn’t appear to be going anywhere and your prospect is behaving like a bully! You might feel angry and frustrated. You may already have considered simply agreeing to their demands. In difficult negotiations, there are 4 vital behaviours that can increase your resourcefulness and consequently your opportunities for getting to Win-Win.

1. Manage your emotional state. Build rapport by matching the other person’s style, pace and approach until you have achieved a ‘connection’ Personalise the negotiation by using “I” rather than your organisation’s name. This demonstrates your belief in your proposal and highlights your credibility.

In the face of feelings like anger, disappointment, frustration, confusion, and resentment, we often react without thinking. In such a situation mentally detach yourself and think about it before you respond. It helps to reframe attacks and tactical manoeuvres as feedback that the other person’s interests have not been fully acknowledged. Stay focused on your goal of reaching an agreement.

2. Look for quick mutual wins to build the belief “we can agree”.The more abstract your communication the more likely you are to reach agreement. Therefore, seek to gain agreement at an abstract level first, then get into the detail. For example, if 2 people were wanting what appears to be very different things, such as a) nuclear disarmament and b) more resources spent on defense, if you looked at finding out both sides highest intention, you may discover that ‘peace’ was the desired outcome for both people. Therefore, at this abstract level they have found agreement so the negotiation can continue by gradually getting more detailed. Questions that chunk up your prospect into the bigger picture include:

- For what purpose?

- What’s your intention behind (negotiating point)?

Seek to address the easy/quickest areas of agreement first to reinforce the process of agreement is simple and straightforward. If you discover an area where agreement may not be reached quickly then agree to leave it until later. If some points become contentious it can help discussions if you both move your body, because the mind and body are connected, physical movement helps to create mental movement. That’s why a walk can work wonders during tough negotiations.  Provide regular summaries of what you have both accomplished to install the belief that the negotiation is making progress. Some sales people will write out all the points to be negotiated on separate sheets of paper, then, ask each point is agreed they move the paper to a different place so that the buyer can physically see the progress being made which serves to motivate the entire process.

3. Use active listening skills and ask questions to give you a greater understanding of the other person’s viewpoint. Giving good attention to people makes them more intelligent. Poor attention makes them stumble over their words and appear stupid. You are best positioned to change someone’s mind after you have listened to that person. People tend to close down and stick to their position until they feel heard. The goal of active listening is for you to hear and understand other people – their words, thoughts, and feelings, and to let them know you’ve heard and understood them. Acknowledge their motivations, feelings, and point of view, even when you don’t agree with what they are saying. Your goal is to understand the message, not judge the validity of what they say.

4. Build trust by negotiating fairly. Demonstrations of power erode trust. If you are on the receiving end of this type of behaviour, describe your observations, and the consequences of continuing the current process. For example: “You know, you’ve named what seems to me a low price, and so now I’ll name a higher price, and then we’ll each insist on our position until one of us gives in. I don’t find I’ve done my best negotiations working like this.” Then propose a different way to proceed, for example: “It would help me to understand

the criteria of a fair offer if we could take a look at some of the relevant standards in this industry.” Before beginning the negotiation it can help to agree the ground rules and stick to them. Act with integrity and hold a healthy respect for the intentions of the individual you are negotiating with. There is always a reason why a point of negotiation is important to the buyer and if we can appreciate more about their underlying reasons, this knowledge can be used and acted upon.